tagged myself……

am sitting in my room bored to tears. i need a break have been trying to finish an assignment due in on friday, cant belive how two months can fly!! thot i had time but somehow i got caught up in my revenge mission i forgot i had an assignment!

anyway decided to tag myself from half and half…..here goes, i really have to get back to my schoolwork.

Cruelest thing I have ever done(so far)

i really have to be honest with you, i have been very cruel several times and its quite hard to take my pick at what i can term as cruelest. so let me list a few then you can take a pick:

i drowned three kittens in the toilet bowl on purpose ( shoot me)

i got engaged twice to men i did not love, and had no intention of actually marrying, probably scarred one of them for life.

and to top my top three list, i flirted with all guys my roomate liked on campus just because i could.

am i in hell yet?

One thing I have ever done that I regret

Not helping my friend make a right decision though i was in a position to help her. siding with her husband even though i knew she would b better off without him. progressing with my life and leaving her behind. i just will never forgive myself for not holding her hand and pushing her to excel.

One thing I have ever done that was wrong but didn’t regret

Giving back those rings, especially the first one…they got hurt but i dont regret it at all.

Best revenge I ever had

me and my best pal decided to take revenge on an ex of mine, i hooked the girl he had left me for with my best pal, though it was initially just for fun, they ended up liking each other and she left my ex for my friend…LOL i tell you nothing could beat the feeling that i had after that, especially since he couldnt belive i had master minded the whole thing….yeah am a bitch like that.

okay am increasingly beggining to think that i really should have made this the cruelest things i have ever done blog, am i that bad?

Worst fantasy

the worst worst fanatasy i have is, sometimes when am in bed with someone i really like, i always fantasing what it would be like if i choked him to death jus as he orgasims, yeah i know freaky but there is a way guys look when they are just about to come that makes me wonder what i can do to end that satisfaction on their face, this happens especially if i havent and are not even likely to come….

i dont think even the devil wants me now……compe ni compe roho safi….LOL

Worst lie I ever told

I once lied to an ex boyfriend i was pregnant…….thats a stori for another day. i should have put this as the most cruelest.

One person I could kill if I could get away with it

CKN…..for putting me through hell.

Moment I wish I could reverse

When i went back to my Ex after he convinced me he had made up his mind about what he wanted. even though i had had numerous coffee and ice-cream crisis meetings with gals where they made me promise never to go back to him. Five days later, he sent me a TEXT to say lets just be friends…effectively taking me back to square one….i dint even tell the gals.

One B.A.D. thing I would really really like to do before I die

Anal sex……

 

Now i can get back to victimology. sniff sniff

weddings……..

yes so i have been out of the blogging scene for a while…did anybody notice? …..yeah i dint think so either. i have been busy planning a wedding, no not mine my cousins and who knew being a bridesmaid is so much work, see thats the reason my wedding will be a civil one, anyone with a problem with that can move swiftly along to another willing candidate.

Thing is while all my friends dream of colour themes, wedding cakes and dresses, some even have a bridal party choosen and go to the extent of dreaming about their husbands to be and their big day, am content to view myself at 50 still a spinster. and suprisingly feel very comfortable with it. please at this juncture note that i have been engaged twice and am probably the only gal who has returned two engagement rings in her lifetime, all this achieved before the age of 24. am i afraid of commitment? YES, am the biggest coward of them all. why you ask did i accept the proposals? well the first one i was asked infront of a huge crowd of friends and family and it dint seem appropriate at the time to say no. i however did stay with the ring for two weeks, of which my hand was in constant display no thanks to my friends. i chickened out wen i realsied what it meant to get married at that age, it meant that i was going to be accountable to someone else and i was going to start behaving like a married woman, never have i seen a man cry, when i gave him back the ring it was like i had just sentenced him to hang, was there a reason why i didnt just keep the ring get married and have kids? maybe, maybe not. all i know is that that the only thing i regret about that whole issue was the fact that i made someone else hurt, and that had never been my intention.

Two years down the line, i got proposed to again and this time, i thought oh well about time did walk down that aisle, i had known him for a long long time, he seemed perfect in everyway. except for one thing, he snored like a tractor!!! before u bite my neck, no that was not the reason i gave back the ring but i can tell you till today i still have never goten over the fact that someone can keep you awake all night with snores. somewhere down the line i had to tell my mum i was engaged, this was the first time i had EVER talked to my mum about boys, we had a long talk she told me things that only a mother can tell you, though she did not say it out loud i knew she dissapproved and she wasnt the only one. with time i had to get very open with myself and with him, i had to look at my life and my future and frankly my friends were right he just could not fit into my lifestyle. i pictured him next to me at my annual lawyers dinner, i pictured him next to my family members and no he dint fit in. i also realised i couldnt be comforatble in his life style and one of us had to change. it was definately not going to be me. while discussing our future, i asked what we would do if we had kids, since getting a child minder in europe will cost u a fortune, he said i would have to quit my job till the kids were in school, that was it. i realised that he felt threatened by my competence, he would do anything to bring me below his level. if i dint get out while  still could then i was sentencing myself to a life of misery. i gave him back the ring, told him it just could not work for me and i walked. i still dont have the courage to tell my mum that its over.

i dont know why some men think am good wife material. i cant cook and the only thing i can make in the kitchen is a disaster. i am totally unconventional with a mind of my own. i dont conform to anyones rules and am too independent. i am definately not wife material maybe the trophy wife material, however i will settle down in the far future, but i need a man who will love me with all my flaws and not feel threatened by my achievements, one who can and will support me through all my missions and one that will have enough space to accommodate the baggage that i carry with me, and finally one who will be content to have a civil wedding and a small reception of no more than 20 people…..LOL, yeah like thats going to happen, not unless it happens without my mothers knowledge…i can already picture her planning the speeches, colours and rallying her friends to get us presents, but then again who knows i might just get my wish!!

just ordinary…

i dont know what i want to write, i dont know how i feel, i thought it would go away but its still here!! am an ordinary girl with ordinary dreams, i shop in ordinary shops and eat ordinary food. i date ordinary men and have ordinary problems, i hate being ordinary but i fit in most ordinary places. i have ordinary friends, i went to ordinary schools and performed at ordinary levels. everything about me is ordinary, i wear ordinary clothes, i sleep in an ordinary bed, i even have an ordinary dog. i read ordinary books and watch ordinary programmes. i have an ordinary family,and i have ordinary holidays. i make ordinary mistakes and go to an ordinary church.the only thing about me thats not ordinary is my shoes, i have extra-ordinary shoes!

am i making sense? dont know, i just woke up today feeling very extra-ordinary. and since am a very ordinary girl, anything extra-ordinary is a cause for alarm, it means that the balance in my life is tipped and thats is ordinarily very worrying.  so whats so extra ordinary about today?  its an ordinary Wednesday, just the ordinary england weather, with the ordinary Wednesday routine. i have had my ordinary breakfast and my ordinary shower and am now writting in my ordinary blog. still nothing seems to be ordinary, every step i have made today seems to be extra-ordinary, not that i have left my ordinary house to go to my ordinary job, am still in my ordinary bed, so whats so extra-ordinary about today???